Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.

Brene Brown, author

Let’s talk about the importance of setting boundaries. For a lot of us, the idea of setting boundaries sounds like a punishment. The reality is that the act of setting boundaries is an important and vital area of our lives that can help create a sense of peace and calm. Boundaries are good!

  • Boundaries safeguard us from overextending ourselves.
  • Boundaries help us bring clarity to our relationships by establishing expectations.
  • Boundaries help us build strong and healthy communication patterns in our relationships.
  • Boundaries can help improve our relationships.
  • Boundaries can help reduce stress in our lives.
  • Boundaries help improve our feelings of safety and security physically and emotionally.

Most importantly, setting boundaries teaches people how to show up for us! They help people better understand our needs and what is acceptable and unacceptable to us. People may not like boundaries. That is okay! In the long run, they help us and those around us.

Here are a few types of boundaries:

  • Time: adhering to how much time you determine to spend doing something or being with someone
  • Physical: enforcing how someone adheres to your expectations of touch and physical space or proximity
  • Conversational: reinforcing how someone respects what you will and will not discuss, and how someone addresses you 
  • Relationship: compelling respect from those in your life, based on mutually agreed-upon principles of how to engage each other
  • Personal: reinforcing how you respect yourself and honoring your own rules 
  • Content: enforcing what you have determined you will or will not expose yourself to   

What can you do to set healthy boundaries?

  1. Be clear about the boundary. Make sure the boundary is specific and not vague.
  2. It is okay to say no. Saying “no” is vital to having healthy boundaries. 
  3. Consistently reinforce the boundary. Going back and forth sends mixed messages.
  4. Do not apologize for the boundary. Helping others know how to show up for us is a good thing — it is not personal against them.
  5. Trust yourself. If you feel like a boundary is needed, it is a good thing to assert it.
  6. Reevaluate boundaries. It is a good thing to reevaluate when a boundary needs to change.

I hope you are encouraged to create boundaries in your life. You and those around you will be better for it!

 

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