Your Intentions should be easy to read every day. The reasons for why you do/say what you do, should be obvious to all. Do not play poker with people. Show them your hand all the time in relationships with them.
People follow people more than ideas. They follow leaders who care about them and their success, who are willing to be their believer, motivator, and pusher. They will follow someone who genuinely makes it clear that they like them and are concerned about their well-being.
In relationships, trust is the key that opens all locks. If you want to get the most out of a person, you must win them over emotionally. As the Head Coach that means winning the TEAM over emotionally, one player at a time. Is there more motivation than the paycheck? Is there an emotional or spiritual paycheck we are fighting for also? Can I make it bigger than just “self” for each guy?
Make each person feel like they are the most important person, and that their role is of TOP VALUE to you. If they know you value them, they probably won’t want to let you down.
Do not expect reciprocity in these relationship efforts. You will not come out even. That’s not the goal for the leader. But also take note of the truth that people are mostly compelled to reciprocate the feelings you create in them.
Control your tongue. Negative and intimidating emotions create negative and intimidated teams. Think about your reaction, and the “why” behind your reaction. It’s impossible to add value to a person you devalue. Like Dick Vermeil said, “You can’t expect a player to play like a champ when you treat him like a chump.” said Dick Vermeil.
Never live in the world of loss. Never discuss adversity in permanent terms. Hopelessness is where losers live. Leaders who consistently create worry and doubt in their team inspire worry and doubt in their team. If you want to be a leader and stay a leader, don’t live in the worst-case scenario, just prepare for it. “The Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill. For the record, there are VERY FEW successful pessimists. I don’t know any personally.
Make sure you know what you are talking about. If you can help a player play better, you will be respected. When you don’t know the answer, just say so. The only way to lose them is to pretend you know what you don’t.
Be a great example. To lead by example, set an example worth following. Actions speak for themselves. Actions are at the heart of your credibility. If your actions prove your words, you are legit. Whatever you want your people to become, be that.
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